…make lemonade. But I think that our house might be a bit too large to squeeze it.

I am referring to the several THOUSAND dollars we have spent in the last 2 days on stuff that had to be fixed, namely faulty out-of-code electric stuff and termites, which we cannot afford to pay so they are eating our house as we speak.

Shouldn’t there be joy in having a first home? Instead we have swapped noisy neighbors for a financial head ache.

We also thought that we were saving money by going with a semi-monthly mortgage payment, but upon further inspection of the fine print we see that the “middle man” just collects the money and then makes the full payment to the mortgage company on the due date. I am guessing they make interest off of our payments for the time they have the money. The whole point was to save money on interest on reducing the amount of principal twice a month thereby reducing the amount of interest paid.

Every last penny, and all the entire limit on our 2 credit cards have gone into this house; we have yet to get furniture for out still naked living room.

In listening to an NPR story I learned the term “jingle mail” in reference to mortgage companies. It is when instead of a payment in the mail, they get the owners keys. It is happening very frequently in this housing crisis we have now. I have to say the thought of giving up has crossed my mind, but could not happen because:

  • I do not want to pack again
  • I do not want to ruin our credit for 7 years
  • and we could not afford all the up-front fees of leasing

I am so ashamed of failure, but I think this is what it is looking to be, at least with our current finances. I think we will get by. In a few months, we might be out of the woods.

I can’t have a house warming party until this feels like a home, and to do that will cost money, of which is in short supply. I think it will be like our planned wedding and just not happen.

If having a house is this much of a burden, why the hell would anyone plan to have kids?


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