Live Forever or Die Trying

Like I started to say in my reply to Dean’s mom’s comment, I just don’t know what I want to do with my life now.

Part of it comes from lack of jobs in the field.  Part of it comes from my treatment from the person at Planned Parenthood.  Part of it comes from the inevitable drama associated with such a field.

I know this is my calling, but I think more and more of ignoring it; I am tired of defending myself to so many people who think my goal of comprehensive sex education is appalling.  Some have said it is the parent’s job to teach their kids sex education, and I totally agree, but most are not doing it.  Some have said that even though they do agree, I would just be spending my life banging my head against a wall.  Some say that they will fight me tooth and nail to prevent what I want to accomplish.  And most just say that my goal is too lofty.

I don’t want to be the schmuck that takes the easy road, but then again we only get one life and I want it to be happy.  If I choose to continue in my current path, my life will be a journey through hatred and drama.  The vocal minority will make my life a living hell.

Like I mentioned in my huge paper I wrote in college, “sex is a taboo topic for most Americans”, which means my career would also be taboo.  There could not be family discussions with the majority of the members about my job because many disagree with my position on sexuality (not making a pun =).  Dean having a job of making games is an easy topic at holiday festivities: there are no sides because there are no debates.  With mine, there is a threat of dispute at what is supposed to be a happy time.

On the other hand, I could go and do my other love: floor plans.  I could get a masters in architecture, but I would basically have to get another bachelors in the process of catching up.  I would love to do that AND there would be no controversy.  No one will riot if I choose to place wall wardrobes instead of walk in closets.

Being in this state of inaction is really doing a number on my confidence.

Well after waiting a week for the CoE adviser position, I gave in and called.  I did not want to be holding onto something I could not have nor give up on something I have a chance at.

I spoke with Helen (the office manager) and she said they are in a “holding pattern”; they have yet to decide who will be in for round 2 of interviews.  She would like them to decide so she can start calling around.

So I still have a shot at the position.  Dean thinks I will get it, and I know I would do a great job if given the oppurtunity, but there could be a more qualified applicant for the position (e.g. graduated in CoE or have previous paid experience in advising).

I doubt I will know anything until after Thanksgiving though, but when everyone asks, at least I can say something is in the works.

Also, the position will go full time next September.  They wanted a full time now, but their fiscal year is from Sept to Sept and they don’t have the budget for it at the moment.

I really want this job!

So our current lease is up January 31st, BUT we have to let them know today if we are going to move; 2 and 1/2 months out. It would not be an issue, but they are raising our rent by $100 after they raised it $50 3 and 1/2 months ago, plus a new stupid “pet rent”.

We could find a cheaper place, but that would involve moving in the dead of winter AND since most other aprtments only have a 30 day notice, so none know what they will have available yet.

Should I just tell them we are leaving and just keep looking around? If we move it will forfeit the buyers option where a huge chunk of our rent would go for a down payment to build a home. So far about $2,000 built up.

I have no clue what to do…

EDIT:  We have until the 30th to decide, the 15th was if we were going to let them know by mail.

The interview went great!  I met about 1/2 the staff and got along well with all of them.  They seem to be a great team and just the type of people I would love to work with.

When I submitted my application, unbeknownst to me, it was past the deadline, but since I had 2 years of work at the University, they thought I had something that most the other applicants did not; experience working with UNT students.

They said they threw out a majority of the applicants and it was a “very small pool left”.  Today they will finish up the interview(s) with the other(s) and have a pow-wow tomorrow so I should know tomorrow or Friday if  made the cut to the next round of interviews.

Like I said in my thank you letter I sent this morning, “If my enthusiasm for the position was not apparent yesterday, I would like to reiterate it here.  Out of all of the 275ish jobs I have applied for, there is no other I was this excited about, no other that I could excel at more, and no other I would prefer.  I truly enjoy advising students and would love the opportunity to do it for the College of Engineering!”

I felt so confident in my ability to do this job that I flat-out told them that they would not find a more dedicated person and that they would hire me.  I think they agreed.

But we will find out soon.  I really don’t want to write a post about how I did not get the job.  There are very few areas of myself that I have confidence in, and this is one, so I don’t want it to get shattered.  I don’t want to question myself more than I already do.

After 275 applications (did 25 just yesterday) I finally got an interview!

It is with UNT in the College of Engineering, which Dean graduated from. I would be helping students with their schedules which I LOVE to do! Here is the job description:

This is specialized paraprofessional advising work in an academic school or college. The primary purpose of positions in this class is to advise students of the requirements and procedures needed for completion of degrees, and to prepare paperwork associated with academic requirements and graduation processing. A position in this class may have a specialized assignment in a particular program or functional area. Employee works under the general supervision of an administrator who reviews results and overall effectiveness of employee’s work. Some supervision may be exercised over other personnel.

It is part time and pays $1, 193.50 a month, but that is fine, I just want a job! I really want this one too because a) it is in Denton which means I will not have to deal with traffic b) it is something I am really good at and enjoy c) I already have experience because I always made Dean’s schedule and d) I REALLY don’t want to have to go to holiday family stuff and have everyone asking if I have a job yet with my answer being “no”.

The interview is Monday at 9am and I plan to make up several degree plans using their rules and take it up there. I think I have a really good chance because it will be really hard to hide my enthusiasm for the position.

Send me some good vibes for this!