Posted on June 6th, 2006 by Kaston
In my English class I started today, it all hit me. I almost started crying. Even thinking of it now triggers the release of endorphins. I am graduating in 2 months.
It has been so hard, but so rewarding. This semester is the most difficult test of them all with 9 hours of classes in 3 weeks, all literature based. Today is only the second day and I am already going crazy getting it all figured out (time wise).
But this whole time what has been getting me through this was the memory of that magical trip to Mexico with Dean. I think [Tulum](http://www.travelyucatan.com/tulum_mexico.php) is the best place on earth and [Cabanas Copal](http://www.cabanascopal.com/) is the best place to stay on earth. I know I am unworldly and therefore I am biased towards that special place, but since it was my first, it will always have a special place.
I have decided that for my graduation I want to go back with Dean and spend a week. I will tell all those that want to give graduation gifts to make it a contribution to the trip. Dean’s boss already promised me he could have a week off to do so, and I am sure I can get Kristen to baby-sit the house. Dean will be getting upwards of a 20k bonus potentially for the game, but I doubt the company will receive all of it. Even if it is only a few k, that will be enough to go.
Every day I think abut the sensation of the trip; the ocean, the breeze, the hanging beds, the clear water, the salty taste in my mouth, the morning sun and the sound of the waves at night. I have never experienced anything like it.
My life is my computer and being disconnected for a week might let me see a little more inside myself. As the readers know, that dark place in me is no longer welcome there and it needs to be gone, but as long as I have distractions from myself I cannot make myself get to know myself.
As strange as that sounds, that is the best way I can describe it and Mexico was the first place I realized this problem.
Posted on June 2nd, 2006 by Kaston
Today was a stressful day. Not negative or positive stress, just stress.
I had my final today in my May mini-mester class, a 3 week long semester with class 4 hours a day 4 days a week requiring about a 100 pages of reading per week night and a few hundred per weekend and a test each Thursday. The class was a senior level Political theory on statesmanship. Basically covering the Lincoln-Douglas (Steven) debates and then Lincoln, Douglass (Frederick), and the abolitionists.
The paper I had to write for the class that Dean, Harriet, and Phil helped me on got an undeserved B. Not just any B, but a slap-in-the-face 89. I e-mailed him about it and said I felt I was being punished for not being a political science major (most in the class were). He told me that he always grades VERY hard and bumps at the end based on attendance, participation and grade improvements all of which I have a 100% in. I am very much a talker in class, surprise right? 
After my final I had an appointment with [Planned Parenthood](http://plannedparenthood.org/pp2/portal/files/portal/aboutus/mission.xml) for my annual and to renew my birth control prescription. I have been using [the patch](http://plannedparenthood.org/pp2/portal/files/portal/medicalinfo/birthcontrol/pub-patch-orthoevra.xml) as it is commonly called (ortha evra). It was the best method for me after I had to take a mandatory break from [Depo Provera](http://plannedparenthood.org/pp2/portal/files/portal/medicalinfo/birthcontrol/pub-contraception-choices-2.xml#1097812219197::-5381386000771205456) (also know as the shot) to build up lost calcium from the lack of estrogen in my body. I was so excited that today they said I could go back on Depo! You get one shot in the rear once every 3 months, it is only $50, AND NO CYCLE!
I was on Depo for a few years before they implemented the year on year off policy and loved it. No periods for like 3 years. My mom said “it ain’t natural” and my reply was a wad of cotton with a string attached ain’t natural! It is so difficult to describe the feeling of not having a period. As a woman it is something that is constantly humming in the background. Every time there is even a hint of moistness the first thought is “is it my time of the month?” With the little voice gone, I feel so free. I never have to worry when packing if I will need tampons, I never have to restock my backpack, my clothes and sheets aren’t at risk for stains, I am never self conscience when swimming if a string is trailing me, and I can wear white anytime I want!
If you are under the impression that such things should not be talked about, I do not apologize. Half of the population over the age of 12 has to deal with this little stressor and in a society of constant stress it is nice to get a magical shot to take some away.
