Posted on May 14th, 2006 by Kaston
Myspace and Facebook are great ways to keep in touch with people and make new friends, but (for me) it has an inherent negative side. With these internet social tools you can dig up people from the past, and in many cases that is a good thing. For me however it has not been as positive.
In high school I always felt inferior to everyone else; all the rich kids. My whole existence in school was filled with bitterness that I could not hang out with the kids who had successful parents and a nice home. I had the same grades, the same intelligence level, the same interests, but something was missing.
I think after getting in contact with all these people that basically shunned me in school through facebook got me to thinking exactly what made me (and other trailer trash) so different from them. But I still cannot figure it out.
Several have graduated college, with their PhDs, many have traveled the globe, a few have struck it rich, and they seem so happy and perfect. I am still an undergrad, I have left Texas twice, live within 4 hours of my home town, I am poorer than when I worked at McDonalds, and I am in therapy because I am defiantly not perfect.
I feel so pathetic compared to them. They ask me what I am up to and all I can say is that I got married by a JP to my soul mate, am an undergrad with a hopeless dream of changing the sex education system, and they say “Oh”. I hear their stories of helping kids in Africa with AIDS, doing research in medical labs to find cures for cancer, Cinderella weddings, ect, ect. And I am sad to say that it makes me jealous as hell.
I hate being this way. I wish I could just be happy for them, but I can’t because I want it too. Sad and shallow, I know, I don’t need to be told, but I only have one life and do not want to be denied any experience.
Why can’t we all do those things? Why does there have to be haves and have nots? Why does life have to be unfair?
I am a spoiled brat that has never been spoiled.
